Thursday, October 26, 2006

propane-piFF v.1

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okay... now im gonna say this once. THAT! THAT- is lil wayne & birdman KISSING! this time- I KNOW im not crazy, i've heard about the shit before, but to see its like... actually, you know what? im not even gonna elaborate much more on what COULDN'T be said. now i'm not gonna say whats right and whats wrong here, but i do know that:
-Birdman really ISNT a "bird",
-that resort doesnt resemble a "nest"
-lil wayne doesnt look like a "sparrow"
-and lastly, i dont see no fuckin worm in between these n!ggas lips.. or "beaks"

uhhh.. them niggas is kissing! and look at dudes face on the right! gaaaaaaawwwwwwwwddaaaaammmmmnnn!!!!!! he looks like he just mistakenly wiped with his finger, instead of the toilet paper, scratched his upper lip and just smelt it. yeah. that disgusted. as we all are.

with that said, this is one of possibly the shortest, yet propane-piFFest blogs in piffstory. ill be back in the morning,.... jeah!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

since when is coffee, "breakfast"?

so i hear my man terry kennedy's gonna be on BET's "BEEf: the series" this week, discussing his "beef" with Lupe Fiasco. okay. before i/we see this, i got a few important questions that i know WON'T be asked, so lemme get 'em out:

-have you ever heard the term "Bamnesia", and do you think your boss displays symptoms?
-what makes Pharrell more of a skater than Lupe? the fact that he calls himself "skateboard P", or is it because he pays you?
-didn't skateboard P" actually do songs & production on Lupe's album? and is that the reason you halted the "beef", or because it was headed into irrelevant, obscurity anyways?
-how do you have a "beef" with another skateboarder, especially when said skateboarders a Muslim?
-why do you think people "beef" in the public eye? doesnt that seem a bit "WWF'ish"?
-how do you find time to rap, "beef", and uphold a professional skateboard career.. that seem to be alot of hats to wear?

should i keep going? exactly... i can't figure out how & why people do shit like this. honestly. can you imagine if you saw Bam on MTV talking about a "beef" he had w/Good Charlotte. hmm. lets see- they all wear makeup, both wear all black, and if i forgot to mention- they all wear makeup. so as i was saying, could you imagine these two "beefing"? on tv too?!?! WHY would they is probably a gooder question? i can tell you why they wouldn't- its called better "marketing". their marketing packages consisted of the following- make-up, a platinum tatoo gun w/a relentess supply of ink and the voice of a pirate! can't say i'm sure what ole "skateboard P"s camp has up its sleeve, but last time i checked, skateboarders dont need to be "marketed". Markets are where you get corn, bologna, and... well. i guess i stand corrected- beef! in this case, the markets stocked w/corned beef. Beef, this Wednesday on BET. right after some other minstrel.

i was emceeing the GvR contest this weekend, and everything was going what seemed to be straight, until i said "the winner of the contest gets to give felacio to winner of the Roller Derby girls...". now, i'm in the middle of taking a photo and the guy running the contest came up screaming," if you say that again, they will shut the whole fukkin thing down.. you hear me?!". i don't think he realized he looked like Rowdy Roddy Piper. Anyhow, without missing a dime, i tried to hand the dude his mic back, but he walked away leaving me & the other 500 people there wondering WHAT exactly the problem was.. lets see

-first off, the chances of anyone knowing WHAT that word means is probably nill. by the look on everyones face when i said it, i think they thought i said "Felicity" anyways..
-uhh, i dont know if anyone was paying attention, but there were about 10 scantily clad, 40something year old ladies, rolling around on the ground with their skirts hiked up past their half-covered tittaes.. hmm. no christian activities going on there
-if you reread the above paragraph, you'll notice he was cussing at me.. and the mic was still on, so..

after that, i barley touched the mic again. i did finish my job, but i barely touched it again. maybe next time I'll pass it off to a scantily clad roller-derbying marsupiate, who's one lap away from menopause. in related news, i was sick yesterday, but got word that Goofy won the contest. WOW! speaking on that, is like Tony Larussa talking about that obvious brown shit that was in Kenny Rogers hand on the mound, "you saw it, I saw it, so for me to talk about it is pointless...". i dont wanna say who should or shouldn't have won, but i don't remember seeing anyone do a 360-ollie w/flip down them big ass stairs, and ill leave it right there. my man Quys gonna send me some flicks so i'll post em later today. i got a good question though- if they have the technology to have live web-feed from the contest, why dont they have the PUBLIC decide who the winner is? or does the public matter? something to think about... well im out. going to skate this cold out. meet me @ BP. ill be the black guy skating with shorts, no socks and huge gashes in my shins. jeah!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

u can be "crazy"...., just don't be insane.

fukk it. imma say it. diddy, piffy, p.drizzle or whatever the fukk dudes name is- is cool. he started off as a promoter, and now the dude does everything from run a marathon, to somehow looking cool dancing around w/a toothpick like Bugs Bunny. how..? because, im telling you- this n!ggas cool. he's like the Black Fonz, that still, has somehow- not jumped the shark. amazing. im honestly convinced, and theres no way you could tell me less, actually im COMPLETLY convinced that Piffy can do the loop on a skateboard. speaking of skateboarding, Dalgart sent me this..

wow. was i first?! gaaaaaawwwwwdamn!!! oh yeah- i forgot to mention Minority Report recently huh? hmm. the video's being co-sponsored by theSkateboardmag, which pretty much means- i win from the jump. Venture Trucks, DGK, theHundreds, Brooklyn Projects, NJSkateshop, and Zoo York will also be sponsoring the project as well. yep. i said Zoo York... that must suck huh. thats llike Jay & Nas doing that peace treaty concert last year. i suggest some folks follow my lead, cause lets be serious here- my ego aint getting me off Sheltons couch no time soon. like Piffy said, "you can be crazy.. just dont be insane!" so me & Zoo's- all piff again. jeah! there'll also be a special guest appearance by Stevie Williams, as well as new promos by Zoo York, Brooklyn Projects, and a few other suprises... hold on. "baaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnn!!!!!!!". alrite. im back. damn lifes great!!!

random story. so me, my girl and her friend are having a conversation to the tone of ,"...whens the last time you kicked someones ass?" my girl, without missing a beat, goes-"you mean outside of a ring..?" uhh.. uhh.. damn?!! im glad she's going here w/me this weekend:

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anybody think about getting too frisky, go back and read the sentence above this flyer. both myself and Sal Barbier will be dueling it out on the mic(Sals emcee for the goof troop, me- the winning squad, i mean regular).,the beastie boys are playing saturday night, plus every pro skater in the universe will be there. there'll also be the stinch of weenie water in the air. get down there! its FREE, whens the last time you saw a good concert & skating in the same day, and lastly- this could quite possibly be the last good contest in skateboarding. true story..

anyone see the guy from florida who, like the Crocodile Hunter, got poked in the heart by a stingray? wow. i wonder how many more dumbasses its gonna take to realize theres no such thing as Aquaman. in related news, i heard there was a squid who threw up, "inky" in all black, on the bottom on a carrier ship..

i got things to do, like eat this tuna sandwich i ordered Monday night, then wash it down w/this tasty Coke thats been open on the coffee table since Sunday.. then, ill walk to the store, by more food, eat a bite, leave the soda open, and repeat in 3 days. jeah!

Monday, October 16, 2006

monday night footblog

okay.. the second quarter of Monday Night Football just started, and the Cardinals are beating the Bears 14-0. yeah. i said the Cardinals. the announcers are so confused, they just brought up Charles Barkley to talk about football.. Barkley just said, and i quote- "i played football for one day, in a (inaudible) league, and they were hitting waaay too hard.." hmm. isnt this the same guy who physically threw a grown man through a window in downtown Orlando? anybody remember that shit?! damn! you throw somebody through a window, you should have a fukkin comic book & some Underoos named after your ass! uh-oh... nevermind. i dont know which was more embarrassing.. Barkley just talkin about how he use'ta eat Goo Goo clusters while he sat the bench @ Auburn, the 2nd interception Grossman just threw, or this video.. roll the tape...

uh.. what the fukk was that? no. seriously. WHAT THE FUKK WAS THAT?!?! and how much corn on the cob, and corn meal did they feed this jig for this minstrel? uh.. really quick. the Bears just gave the ball up AGAIN(fumble).. wow. if i were the Bears, id just say fukk it and go out like this..

no that.. THAT is a fight! why didnt they play Boncrusher "neva scared' when that shit popped off? and what was that ignigorant ass announcer talking about? "i was 'bout to go git on da el'uhvaduh and get down deah..". jesus. whats really sad is- thats probably someones Dad. but who cares! im buying season tickets to the Hurricanes next year! who's in? really quick- why are they about to "premiere" Jay Z's new video on Monday Night Football? hasnt this been on all weekend? oh yeah! because its got Danica Patric in it, and it only makes sense that everyone would want to see what a fully adult Garbage Pail Kid looks like right? i just looked up at the Jay-Z vid, and somehow saw Terrell Owens doing the snap dance.. im seriously the fukk outta here..

Sunday, October 15, 2006

how to spot a LAme broad

since my last post, its come to light that Yimmy DID somewhat know what he was talkin about.. so for all you Dipset fans out there- roll the tape boys...

i honestly, have not one word to say about this. actually, i do. i got 3.. its so... well. its.. well, gaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwdamn! my respect for Dipset has hit the same mindstate, as when i found out wrestling was fake. see, theres a few things in this world that absolutely just suck. one of ems a "hip-hop rollerblader", and the others a grown ass man rollerblading around with his knees locked together spinning and shit. i thought id never hear myself saying this- but i think Dipset straight lost on this one. at least they still make good mixtapes..

in unrelated news, i skated w/Steve Olson yesterday, and i feel as if everyone should know that. you should also know, although ive skated more in the last month than i have in the last year, i still somehow, DON'T own a skateboard! hey, it could be worse. i could be as dumb as the bitches that came by in the middle of the night w/Shelton. hmm. wanna know how you can spot a chick from LA? heres some tips

-they're probably wearing some cheap ass boots, with ashy calfs
-they're so dumb & annoying, that they usually talk themselves out of gettin some dick
-they're usually shaped like marsupials
-they travel in packs of 2-4, and the breakdown consist of: a fat one, a bitch who thinks shes cute but has a fuzzy face, one whos so old her body got a ticket for parking itself in menopause for so long, and finally- the cheap slut.

so these LAme ass broads not only come over & just fukk the mood up, one bitch fell out of the chair(?) into the wall, and to add insult to injury, i asked one of the broads if they wanted some kool-aid, and i swear to everything she goes, "... uhh.. whats kool-aid?" moral to this story- there is none. these bitches were dumb, ugly and didnt know what kool-aid was. it was like hanging out with a modern day cavewoman..

im outta here. its football sunday, and theres a case of team juice in the fridge that needith be polish't. if you need a few more good laughs, go back and read the paragraph about the LAme broads & repeat 3/4 times.. until tomorrow, yall be easy.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

strangers w/candy pt.1

before i get started, id like to welcome Mama Shelton to Piffs. now, onto my daily ethering...wanna know why i dont endorse any rappers, rockstars, or any of their skate-related products .. roll the tape

first off, who the fukks the jig @ the table? "how do you feel about there seems to be alot of black kids skating nowadays..." what the fukk is this guy talking about "nowadays"? ..smh. black pople just stay losing saying dumb shit like this.. shall i continue. then we got Jim Jones, whom i for god for saken reason believes "talented", has the audacity to actually explain WHAT he's talkin(skateboarding) about while having no fukkin idea WHAT he's talking about(skateboarding) "...uh, uh.. Dipset has one of the biggest skaters.. uh, skateteams in Brooklyn..., as a matter uh fac', Brooklyn has the biggest indoor skating rinks in Brooklyn. i dont know the exac' address and all but you can look it up on the Dipset website.. i grew up in the Bronx in a Italian neighborhood and all, so bmx riding and skateboarding went hand in hand... " a smal breakdown-

first off, what skateteam in Brooklyn could he possibly be referring too? hopefully not these guys....

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because those guys(DGK) are in Carlsbad. i dont think that's near BK Yimmy....

secondly, what "skatepark" is he talking about? not this one...

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beacuse thats a mini ramp Yimmy.. and its at a skateshop(a really good one @ that.. check em out-

lastly- did he group skateboarders & bikers together? thats pretty amazing considering, one- you use hands, the other- you don't. now as much as i really wanna diss the dude, i hardly can blame the poor guy for at least trying. i mean, look at who else has stuck their big dollars up in skateboarding right along with this guy, yet have NO fukkin idea or clue they're talking about when posed with any logic about the shit whatsoever. now what if a skateboarder, not this guy...

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*ironically i looked up pharrell williams, pharell williams skateboarding, and skateboard p on Google and this is best i could come up with out of all the faggitry that bestowed my screen..

as i was saying, now what if i REAL skateboarder were to try his hand at rapping, and when posed with questions regarding hip-hop was like, "uh... yeah, we got one of the biggest rappers, uh rap crews on our team.. as uh matter uh fac', LA's got one of the biggest parks to rap in.... u can look it up on our website." my point exactly. this is precisely why i dont respect, nor endorse the sudden boom of rapper/skateboard products at ANY level. you see, sadly but truly, this is a simple case of what & how these guys think about skateboarding. they don't give a fukk about it really! these guys and they're money are nothing short of strangers w/candy... and in some cases, not only do they have the gall to "speak" on it, but in the rarest of raretivity cases, use the name and don't participate in it anyway whatsoever(but for holding a board squatting in the middle of a ad..smh). but what if skateboarders started reaching in THEIR pockets? whats the chances of actually being able to come off with half the shit these guys do, and pulling it off without somebody saying something? id say about the same chances of me getting head at a KKK rally for dykes... on that note, im outta here. unlike these clowns....

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i physically use my Vans to go skateboarding in. tricks and all. but hey, who knows? i could be wrong. maybe these guys* will all stop by the BP ramp on their way to whatever the hell it is "they be doo'sing." when they ain't rappin, and just skate too. no cameras. no cells. no papparazzi, or dumb interviewers to lie to about what tricks you can/"use-ta" be able to do, or what you know about skating. maybe they'll prove me wrong, pull up, and just skate. oh yeah. they're musicians, i forgot. until next time people... jeah!

(*and for those of you wondering why i didnt mention Lupe is because unlike these clowns- i literally ran into dude skating up the street. if you've seen ANY of these dudes physically pushing a skateboard up the road by himself, I still wouldnt believe you anyways..)

Friday, October 06, 2006

the leak!!!!

ladies and gentlemen, i present you scum with the piff of the week- the cover to Minority Report...

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thats all for right now. my mind aint too right these days beings i slammed so hard skating the BP miniramp the other day, when i peeled myself off the road(yeah..the ROAD, next to the ramp..), i thought i was the only black skateboarder in Smallville. true story. ill be back after i get a catscan, and some chicken. leave a comment, or email me @

Sunday, October 01, 2006

a d.u.i in a wheelchair

so, this guy Peter Ford recently unvieled that Neil Armstrong actually said, "its one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.." when landing on the moon. he found this out after downloading the audio off a NASA website, and then analyzed it with a computer program that disabled people use to communicate through computers using nerve impulses. the irony is- Mr. Ford isnt disabled. smh.. couldnt Stephen Hawkins of figured this out say... last century? and isnt theres more important shit to be known? like, how in the beginning of Makaveli's "7 day theory" when 2pac says, "Suge shot me...", how can no one decipher that he says "Suge shot me..." .

and speaking of disabled people, is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair? hey, somebody had to ask...

it could be worse. you could be my roomate on the way back from Dallas where he called from this afternoon to inform me that he'd just woken up at some girls house, looked out her bedroom window, and there was a fukkin horse staring at him. a fukkin HORSE! not a squirrel. not a sparrow, but a fukkin horse. im like," gaaaaaawwwwwwdaaaaaam! where'd this n!gga wake up at.. Bonanza?!" when id last spoke to him, he was riding countryside along the same road Jay Z & Jermaine Dupri filmed the "money aint a thang" video. true story. i even heard Jay galloping on a Clydesdale in the background..

new fat joe/lil wayne...? roll the tape!

and is it me, or does Scott Storch look like a white Kermit the Frog? in all fairness- Chamillionaire looks like a black Kermit.

thanks to the folks at for posting my new Minority Report trailer on their site, and thanks to for the putting everybody on to the clydes Corner, Minorty Report and Piffs blog. yall should go check out their sites as well. and for all of you that can only spell myspace, i left the links on the right... i also left a link for Speak&Spell.

is Metalopacyse anywhere in the range of the word "humorous"? im serious.. wheres the funny parts, because i swear i keep missing em. and why do all cartoons got that 4/5 man crew. hold on- is 4/5 a clan, a posse, a crew or a click? a squad? what the... anyways. like i was saying- the shit ain't funny. Metal lost.... the sound it makes when i scratch my nuts>Metal

im out. i got deadlines, bills to pay, and wamp-wamp. yeah. thats right, wamp-wamp. i have no idea what the hell it means, but it fitted'did. fukk it,, here ya go..

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dont let that Easter outfit fool you. this albums honestly pretty redonkulous, so id suggest grabbing it up before the link dies. is almost done, as well as Minority Report, so in the words of the great KRS-ONE, "ill be back, but for now just settle..." jeah!