Wednesday, March 14, 2007

it was all good friday. it was knoxvilles birthday, i got stuck in traffic on the 405 for 3 hours, but the somehow, it was all good. even got a new blackberry, and the cell bill paid- good. then i remembered the bad, and the ugly. the ugly truth was, i forgot the clicker to the gate at sheltons crib. oh yeah- i also pissed on weiss' very expensive couch thursday night. now that shat- was ugly. word. and stainky. but my new money made it go away.. i like money. it makes problems go away. thats good. whats bad, is actually "believe", what i just typed. what a loser.. but, little whyte kids like me! look. my youngest costumer. ladies, and gentleman.. i introduce, the one and only- Riley Bongard..

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i love that kid. and her lovely Mi'doms, that called piFF "handsome". okay.. so back to my weekend. somehow on Saturday, i went to 3 parties, in 2 different cities, in a 5 hr time. it started jumping, while somehow geniusly, stabbing through my shoes insole(& sock) to my foot on the spike fence. not good. but not bad. at least i didnt drop the cookies in my hands. why i had cookies? easy. there was gurls there. gurls looove cookies. and clear liquor. even the ugly ones. but too bad i dont hang with no ugly gurls, no mo' though. i told you a minute ago- money makes shyt go away.
you ever see the dog, who adopted the monkey? didnt think so? these dudes cant fukk w/my blog. real talk. my day>your life... step your aim up, cause you gots no "game".

just wanted to do that. so, i was at a party in LA. got on a plane, flew to SF, and then. lemme somewhat detail what i remembered
-there was a wigger doin some weird "dance" moves in front of the airport, like he was in Fame or some shyt, but the road was his mirror
-i walked in a bar, and before i sat down to have a drink, i sold 3 copies of the video
-there was another party that was 3 parties in one, but before i could even notice where i was, i was kicked out 3 times
-snuck back in the same bar 3 times, and the last time i was kicked out, i'd jumped the barricade, landed 2ft away from security, and at that point- they could only laugh
-walked back to Newell house, and it took me so long, by the time id gotten there, everyone was coming home from the same party i was kicked out of
-somehow, i picked up a bass guitar and played with Gerwers band, like i knew what the frukk i was doin
-somehow dropped into a upside down 1/4pipe, that had little to no plywood on it. my ankles still busted to this day. genius move, i know.
-went to kenny hughes house to "wake him up" at 5am, only to chill on his porch for 2 hours drinkin cheap beer

this is where the story gets good. well, its pretty bad. and ugly. so after ridin around and getting rejected from every hotel, we ended up at what appeared to be a "decent" hotel. yeah, right! Shelton woke up, lifted up his head and screamed. the reason he screamed. no biggie, just a little menstral blood on the pillow. bwaaaaahhahhahahahaha. actually, thats not funny. well, it kinda is. and if i forgot to mention, that same day, come to find out both Kenny and Weiss got jumped in front of that club. Weiss even went as far as to get punched in the throat. Hughes had a black eye. a black guy, with a black eye. damn. at least he got to sleep it off. me, i drove home sunday. i dont think i've ever left a city that quickly. odd thing is, the faster i drove, the more i started to remember and smell whatever id drank for the last 40hrs, secreting from my person. hey, at least i played the bass, broke my ankle, saw a black guy with a black eye and finally met Russells kid all within 10 hrs though. i also drank a 40, went to both Huf & FTC. and ate at Askew! that was all within the 2hrs prior to leaving. not bad for a sunday morning. i woulda went to church too, but i figure id wait until im old and bored of life. thats all i feel like writing for now. it seems as if i'd woken up today to my friends car getting towed. it would be easy to take care of it, if he was not only in the states, but he actually knew i had his car too. yeah.. i gotta dip. really quik- why does "dip" mean "to leave" in ebonics? who the fukk made that up? "dip"? u dip chips, and celery. you don't "dip" when you leave. with that said, im the frukk up outta here. until next time..... jeah!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

....parallel with the fukkin Earf'!

id like to start this off, by first thanking Ron for this piFF. ladies and gentleman, roll the tape..

bwaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahahha.awwwwwwww,laaaaaawwwddyy!! that lil nikkuh was parallel with the fukkin Earf'! jesus. please feel free to run that back at any, and all cost. i mean, whats gooder than a bunch of adults filming a kid ride off a mega-jump, while riding a skateboard on his ass? really quik- why the hell do people keep hitting me up with their problems? not to be rude, but im busy man. in related news, i gotta go. got a doctors appointment. my pockets got the mumps! ill be back later. until then, enjoy and remember this next time you eat some staink ass paw'k..


Saturday, March 03, 2007

the movement, just keeps on moving..

im back in California. and guess what? i flew here, once again= with NO ID!!! amazing. so after being denied at the airport 4 different times, staying 3 extra days to wait for both my birth and social documents, i was let aboard a plane once again- with no ID. they didnt even ask me for it! and if i failed to mention- i paid no extra fees, plus i flew first class.. bwaaahahahahah.. the movement, just keeps on moving don't it. so, when i did fly in, i stayed at my old girls house, and we, you know- did it. did i say that? yeah. so, we did it, i woke up the next day @ 8am, rode my bike 4 miles to the nearest DMV, and finally- got a new ID. then i brought home some doughnuts... commercial break!

so.. who feels uncomfortable? whys it so quiet right now? hmm. in other news, a high school principal was recently busted for selling and using meth. at the school though. doesnt hthat sound funny to say. "high" school, and meth. jesus. strange twist, although he did get busted at the school, the cops say they don't believe he was selling to the students. ok. whoevers dumb enough to believe that, is.. fukk it, just- dumb. probably dumb enough to say something like this... roll the tape

bwaaahahhaha you see her face? classic piFFlery. im outta here. but before i go, i wanna congratulate the one, and only Melina Jones on her debut release- Swearing off Busters... . for those who haven't heard of her, you will. if you wanna come and celebrate her album release..
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see thats whassup. i told yall, the movement just keeps on movin.. fukk it.. while im at it, im liking this kids video.. and if you got a minute, check out my man Big Germs new blog..jeah! i gotta run. if you can excuse me, im watching a official copy of Minority Report, on a fukkin projector at my friends new condo in Orange County. in one hour, i'll be on my way to hollywood to do the damn thaing up there tonight. dont get mad. its cool. im just styling on you nikkuhs, thas all...