Friday, January 19, 2007

piFF got a seed...? wtf?!?!

have you met my son. allow me to introduce him ... piFF jr.

thas my boy! now, this kid knows how to move.. hes got no ID, yet he makes it to the airport in a stolen car, hops a few planes w/no questions asked(probly got some free food off the shyt), and not a question asked. Lets see. They found coke on Dionne Warwick, weed in Vicks water bottle, but they didnt notice a small child traveling by himself ticketless. Gotta love Airport security! the real question is, if he had no money- where'd he park the car? actually. who cares?! this kids the new millineum Harrison Ford in Fugitive! im so proud of my boy! i told y'all its possible to do whatever you want without an ID. Security. HA!

what else is new. anybody forget how to eat watermelon? this guy didnt...

somehow, once again- black people find a way to make a wicker chair legit. i had a wicker chair in my crib growing up, and i swear, that shyt lasted longer than a good chair. must've been that Madagascaran wicker. im having a shitty week, but im in the mood to give.. here ya go. free music damnit!

enjoy that. ill be back after the Saints smash on daBayrs this weekend. until then, once again- rest in peace James Brown, and for Gods sake- bury the guy already! his body probly smells like the odor under that fat girl Persia's tittay on "the White Rapper show". jeah!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"only 2 kinda people wear shades at night- bilnd people & assholes"

yeah. i've been missing a few days. went to Vegas and witnessed the marriage of Bill and Jennifer Weiss. yeah. Weiss got married. but thats nowhere near as incredible as this. roll the tape boys...

umm... uh.... what the fukk was that?!? back to Weiss' wedding. i rode up on Saturday and don't remember much from that point. well. i remember some stuff.
-we ordered ridiculous amounts of bud light & food at the room in Ceasers, and the bill was.. well. lets not disuss that.
-i went to a skateboard related party, only to realize i would've had more fun hanging out in the room w/a wooden airplane
-i woke up on the bathroom floor 20 minutes before the wedding, and somehow made it down in time
-there was chicken at the reception
-Mama Shelton told me my girl sucked, and informed me i needed to find a new one- right there on the spot
-somehow, within the first 2 days- i got the hiccups 7 times, at 1 hour intervals each time.
-Justin Bokma was there, and he looked like a crossbreed of Russell Crowe and a female Ewok
-and lastly, i grabbed Kenny Hughes Id while he quietly slept, only to not be let in a club. subsequently, Kenny woke up midnight, went to meet everyone at a strip joint, only to realize- he didnt have an ID. then when he returned to the hotel, due to no ID- they wouldn't give him a room key. im glad me & Kennys cool, because i would've seen something like this if not...

damn! he smacked dude so hard, his teeth went back into infancy! seriously though, if you watch it again in slow-mo, you'll see that he got hit with such a brute force, it put his right eyeball next to his left ear. im outta here. once again, congratulations to the Weiss' and whatever you do- don't go to Malibu or Compton. its snowing there. no. im serious though.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

u mad cuz piFFs stylin on you?!

i'd like to personally take this time to thank the people at VH1 for.. just roll the tape

okay. now we have 3 things that are really wrong here. first off- why is Rosie O'Donnell on VH1? secondly, why is she walking around the crib with a dildo? and lastly- did she just put that sh!t on that dudes lip?! gaaaawDAMN! i think VH1 has gone out and done the impossible. they've somehow found something to televise w/more second-hand embarrassment than Flava of Love. im in! and for the record- anytime there's a house full of white dudes, and a Micheal Strahan shaped bitch rapping, you can count me in. did i ever mantion i know who runs dontbelievethehypebeast. no. im serious.

i was supposed to just go to San Jose "really quick" for a Murs video, and that "really quick" turned into 2 days @ 6 Newell in SF. the weekend festivities included well over $500 worth of you-name-it 12 packs, Dave Duren getting arrested, slipping out of the cuffs(?), and subsequently getting punched in the forehead by the cops, and Frank Gerwer playng the drums for 10 hours straight while i slept through it. then being the genius i be, i drove home and got drunk w/Michelle and watched 45 minutes of the game. i think Florida won, but if you read the last sentence.... actually. holy guapomole!!! i found it! ladies and gentleman.. i present THA piFF!!! ROLL THE TAPE DAMNIT!

oh- the cals on you?! hooooooooly goodgooglymaugglewaggly. he sent that nikkahs fitted cap into orbit! thank the lord i found that, because i think the guy who got styled upon, blocked it from being embedded. he should've been blocking that fist that was embedded in his jaw before his hat left the galaxy... "oh..u mad cause im stylin you..." classic piFFlery. im outta here.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Friday, January 5iff

where have i been? the question is, have you seen this sh!t yet..

DAYUM!! i aint never seen nobody do the forward moonwalk so fluidly, in my entire life. what the hell kinda dance was that?! i mean, that nikkah got hit so hard, he was dancing like Paula Abdul in the "cold hearted snake" video! damn!

ill let you in on a little bit of whats goings on.

-Mistah FAB(?) is sponsoring his own skate team, as well as has a wheel coming out(really quick, whos this dude..? no. seriously.)
-The Pack are getting their own shoe on Vans(you're welcome, Ray Barbee, Peter Hewitt, and anyone else who waited more than 10 years. wow)
-Lupe has an "ode to skateboarding" and also sponsors his own team, and Snoop might start one(what the...?)
-Pharrell also sponsors a team and "dresses the part of skateboarder in his videos"(something i almost wanna give this dumb ass credit for, but..)

and some more useless shit i'll get into in a minute. one of the most interesting things i'd read while skimming through this.. this.. whatever it is, was, " both (hip-hop & skateboarding) emphasize earning respect". hmm. yeah. thats about 40% of it. its also about WHO you know. and whats up about giving rappers signature products, who can't and don't skate, over pro or amatuer skaters? what kind of goals, or "respect" should these should kids who wanna be sponsored aim for, if rappers are getting product endorsements? do you think the NFL would give Rick Ross his own line of chalk for the football field? or NBA would licsence the Miami Heat to make Trick Daddy jerseys? and i hope yall don't think these guys are gonna give you a interlude on their album or some sh!t? i'll let you guys in on a little secret- these rappers will wear your clothes ANYWAYS. you think they get free clothes all the time? ok... keep believing that shit if you want. rappers getting boxes every month... jesus, somethings seriously wrong with people. im outta here.