Tuesday, November 20, 2007

"..unless you want some hurt feelings w/that turkey."

No. i didnt go to the Lakai video. No. I didnt hang at the after party. and no, im not telling you where i got this..
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gawt damn- thas a ugly baby! fa'real. but. if you think thats something, lets take a look at Steve-O's dad..

and yall wonder where Steve-O got his swagger from.. lets see. The shows taped in Florida? Steve-O's from Florida? catch up folks. this time- its actually checkers, not chess. if this aint Steve-O's family, may the good Lawd strike me where i stand. ok. im still here. told yall. catch up...

this past weekend was the shyt. my little brother and his girl were in town. i rolled back on the same block some dudes tried to roll on me, only to get apologized to. and lastly- we went to L.A.X. and got a table. all 10 of us. great weekend. too bad some people are walking around furious. case in point, Saturday night. Joh has a downhill driveway, that with the right kick- can coast you into the road, and 1 block away from the store. being the stores 3 blocks away, this is every skateboarders dream. especially if you're somewhat intoxicated. so off i go down the driveway, into the dark streets of Hollywood when suddenly i see 2 lights and a bumper whisk past my hip. being ive been skating for almost 20 years in the streets, the entire thing wasnt weird, scary or anything of that nature. just another car i almost got hit by. Big deal. Not to the lady that was driving though. Id gotten all but 50 ft from her SUV, when i hear this screeching, furious... witch, screaming only God and witches know what. I was gonna roll back up to the crazy old lady and ask her what her problem was, but i decided the entire event was over anyways so why bother. Plus, pardon me if im not correct- i was the one who almost got hit, so what the fukk was this bish mad about anyways? off to the store i went.
so last night, i was crossing Melrose(on foot) when low and behold, another one of these great restless ass LA drivers almost plowed me down(again). not only did the dumb bish not look BOTH WAYS before turning, she also had what looked to be her Grandma, and 2 kids in the car.(idiots ALWAYS keep company in tow..). after giving the entire car whiplash, this retarded fuckwad had the nerve to look at me, grit her teeth and slam on the horn. this time piFF wasnt so cool. too bad for this lady, not only did i just buy a banana, but my arm closest hers window accidentally slammed said banana into her car and wacthed it slide down the entire side. from the window, to the wawl! point of this story- dont ever almost hit a man with a banana, and act brave. shyt'll have you calling Maaco.

lucky for me, i didnt get charged with a... holy gawd! im sitting in my managers house and a fukkin squirrel just walked in. hmm. must be winter? damn. that was weird. but not as weird as finding this site, when i was looking up the recent reverse racism-crime i was intentionally looking for. its official. seriously, white people are mad. about what? who knows. but they are furious at society... more to come in the following days. actually, lemme put you on to this, before i get started...

ok.. ill explain this slowly- racism is a CLASS issue. but when shyt like this starts sprouting up. well. thats just pure boredom, ignorance, or a guy whos girl got fukked by a black guy. possibly, a combination of all 3. so we all clear on this? cool. while im at it, i wanna give a shout out and Happy Thanksgiving to Micheal Vick.
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whut? holla.

i gotta run. got some treatments to read, business cards to pick up, clothes to return, checks to cash, trees to burn. actually...

what a fitting song for the day.. everybody have a good T-day. and if you aint a Cowboys fan, dont even bother watching tv if you dont want some hurt feelings w/that turkey. until next time. be easy.. jeah!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"... a post-muffined raisin, or a Nerd?"

before i get started, sorry about the lay-off. now. if anyone can decipher who the fukk this dude is-
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man.. i couldnt tell you what this things heads shaped like. A post-muffined raisin, or a Nerd? anywhat. i got a autographed Minority Report Deck/DVD, and a bag of assorted goodies for whoever guesses what that is. Gawt damn, thas a ugly ass- human! but thats not whats important. what is important...

after conducting a interview a few weeks ago, i learned some things. and thats either Pharrell REALLY can skate, or black folks will go to bat for this dude- no matter what. and guess what? Black people dont lie! Shit. Ask O.J.! fa'real though. look at what someone sent me, and the shit even said, "look, he can't skate..". smh. roll the tape..

well, i be gawt damned! now this is some real spit. coming from a former Supreme hater of this dude, Im sorry to inform the world, but- PHARRELL CAN ACTUALLY, SKATE. yup. piFF said it. I actually tip my hat to the brother, considering one important thing. He's actually gooder than 70% of people who sell you your magazines, Nikes, streetwear, and other random non-skate(but somehow skate...)-related shit from! hell, i can personally tell you 20 guys, right now, who cant do what this man just did on a skateboard! and they run BIG companies, boutiques, magazines, etc... So as i said, real spit- you alright by me Pharrell. i still dont fugg with them homo ass colors you be rockin.. thas all for now.

next.. who woulda ever thought that this shoe
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would end up costing the same as a old pair of Jordans? i know Gator probly sitting in his cell shaking them bars, like a old alcoholic with Parkinsons. then again, i bet he has no idea what the fukks a "internet", or the what the word throwback even means. so, discussing him, is pretty much, pointless. Killa!

oh schnapp.. ladies and gentleman, this young lady has made her second appearance on piFFs blog in a years time. i introduce, the cinematic debut of Mrs. Riley Bongard in, "Pasta".

wow. just. wow. i think something flew in my eye. im serious. dont move my hand! i said, somethings in my eye, nikka! know what? i think imma have a kid with Muh'lissa after we go to thisLakai premier Friday. our kids gonna have a steady diet of Cheese Doodles, Grape drink, and those cinnamon cookies that dont taste so cinnamony when licked past the sugar. gaw'damn i love that woman. and this one.

and this one...
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im saying. my blog is certified- piFF. especially when im bringing back such piFFleration as this..

shout out to my Seattle people. Manik Skateboards, and Stack- i see yall, fam. Actually, id really like to send that out to both Jean Grae, as well as Ryan Monihan of Monihan Monihan fukkedry. Jean. well. for being Jean. and, getting ousted from BET studios yesterday- FOR LIFE. holla! and to Monihan. whos not only from Seattle, but today when he was explaining to me the Jean situation, somehow threw the word "cracker" in like it was nothing. btw- Monihans whiter than Duncans left nostril. Classic.

i gotta run yall. once again, the pleasure was mine. watch for alot of changes in the coming weeks. im just telling you know, so you wont be stuck on stupid or look dumb stalking my every move(again). in the meantime, go read up on the 10 mafia commandments, and im heading out the office to get some chicken. until next time yall.. jeah!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

so, folks is gettin crunk with Christ now?!

before i get started, why is everyone so suprised by this?

first off. besides being well- ignorant, this butter toof'ed redneck also spent a good bit of his earlier years in prison. my Fathers a lifer, so ill put you onto some serious game. when you go to the big house, 9 times outta 10- you end up being racist. and its not by "choice", either. not to excuse the leather face'ted bigot whatsoever, but thas real spit. then, we can go into "how many times have you seen him interact with black folks on his tv show?" i useta watch it religously, so i can tell you- zero. as a matter of fact, whenever they do show any minorities on his show, its always in a poor light. actually, i remember one episode where he tried toroll up on this Samoan cat while they was playing football. and to be honest- i think the ass whooping he was about to recieve, triggered his hate again. but in all honesty- fukk this dude though. ive already spent too much time discussing this, so once again. fukk em. lets K.I.M.....

we should be discussing this, anyways..

wow.. just, wow. if you wanna see the trailer.. actually

there ya go. i have nothing more to say, other than im buying 4 copies. anyone notice how quick i changed the subject? amazing. so, anybody out there wanna play online Scrabble? my usernames clyzzaman, and i highly suggest you learn how to spell before stepping in the arena. if you cant spell, click this lank and your illiterate ass will thank me later.

um. excuse me Lawd, but what the fukkery is this?

what the... so, folks is gettin crunk with Christ now?! id personally rather listen to the new Wu-Tang mixtape. real talk. them dudes can be rapping about stale yogurt, and the sh!t would sound cool.

did i mention, yesterday morning i was riding a bike(extremely hungover) on the sidewalk, and almost got arrested. so. lemme get this right. theres no bike lane. no one in LA walks. but im not supposed to ride a bike on the sidewalk? why didnt the officer just say, "i hate niggers.."? i hate the police. i actually respect Chris Hansen, way more than any police officer who's ever walked the earth.. i also respect this dude, and his squad more than the police.

yep.. you can get the fist. whatever..

if you dont like that track- you're weird. i went next door to borrow butter friday, and came back with butter and a new agent/manager. now, if thas not weird, i dont know what is... maybe the other neighbor to the right who came in yesterday morning and gave me a 1/8 of weed, 2 pipes, a grinder, and a jar of mushrooms, is weird too though. i wonder if he knew black folks dont eat mushrooms? or take pills. welp. yall just learned something. im outta here. my manager needs to speak with me. gawtdamn, i like the way that sounds!