Tuesday, November 21, 2006

3-day piffstravaganzah(stans, magic pizza, & luke piffson)

first, for all you Stans, if you have no idea exactly what a Stan is, i found this for yall....

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

wow... i should make a sticker of this piFF. if you fall under this category, chances are you hang out on comment pages, leave super e-motional comments. and usually have no idea what the hell your talking about. in related news- that quote above really should be a sticker.. true story.

i skated the bowl at Skatelabs DVS/theSkateboardmag party for so long friday night, i forgot they even had beer there! sounds all good, but i woke up the next day at noon mummified, immediatley jumped on the highway to Blingfest only to find out a hour later- we were 15 miles from home. AND the 15 was closed. needless to say we u-turned into what would be one of the best, yet possibly strangest nights of my entire life.

so knoxville calls around 6 and invites me and my girl over to watch both the Paquaio/Morales & Hughes/St.Pierre fights at his crib. now i know these dudes well, and the first thing that comes to mind is that BIG ASS FIST in Jackass 2 that would knock everyone the fukk out when they rang the doorbell at his crib. so as we approach the front gate, i "get a phone call", and being the gentlemen i be, i politely ask my girl to ring the doorbell. after safely making it inside, we're offered some pizza. i just remember being extremely happy from that point out. the pizza was magic. trust piFF. so 2 knockouts later, i'm so drunk im "blacking in" and i realize im laughing like im at home w/Luke Wilson, Greg Kinnear, & one of the Farrelly brothers. many o' shots of patron later, Luke Wilson has my original reel to Minority Report in his pocket, and next thing i know- i woke up on my couch at 3am, patting my pockets. shit! the smart thing to do- i wake shelton up, start drinking, and explaining my night. the look on his face was priceless. "hold on.. you woke me up to.. dude. you were drunk as shit, and passed out when i came home. you SURE you werent dreaming this..." wow. now i need backup. i call my girl at 5am, and ask her what the hell happened. she said she had my video, told me i should check my voicemail, and hung up in my face before i could ask if we could come over(like it was 3pm or some shit..) so i check my voicemail, the first goes, "hey clyde. this is johnny knoxville. you and luke are standing 2ft in front of me at my house, and i took your video from him and put it in my cookie jar.. call me or come by tomorrow and get it. im pretty sure you'll need it.". wow.. message #2. "hello. clyde, this is johnny knoxville again. i just took your tape out of the cookie jar and now its in your girls purse... oh yeah. before i go, i wanna do my best Clyde impreesion.." in steps Luke Wilson on the phone, "somebody say yeah nigga..." i shit you not, if you can imagine that dude saying that quote in his tone.. im not kidding- I OWN ,QUITE POSSIBLY THE piFFEST VOICEMAIL IN THE HISTORY OF CELL PHONES. and no- i wont sell it. no one would ever believe that, but now that theres proof, i dont feel so crazy.

speaking of proof, im pretty sure you've all seen this, but damn.. this is PA-FUKKINTHETIC. how can you look at this guy the same again? i never thought he was that funny, but damn.. in this day in age, to do and say something like THIS(because youre gettting heckled), and then go on Letterman and say youre "NOT a racist"...... youre truly sad. as Sinbad said, "you have to be racist to say something like that. you cant just make that up..". Kramer- youre a pathetic waste of human skin. seriously.

anybody see the Jaguar game last night? yeah, Girard did have a good game, but what was Jay-Z doing in Jacksonville is the real question im thinking. i wonder if he had some Jenkins Bar-b-que too? theres enough salt in that shit to kill a ocean full of slugs.. mmm! thats what im talking about!

heres confirmed dates and times for the upcoming premieres of Minorty Report video:

November 28th- San Francisco, Ca @ one11mina 9pm-2am
November 30th- New York City @ 205 9pm
December 2nd- New York City(3 showings in one day)@ KCDC 3pm, Rival 6pm, Enids 10pm
December 5th- Los Angeles, CA @ Mandrake 9pm

THE PROMOTIONAL FLYER W/ALL DATES & TIMES WILL BE POSTED LATER TODAY(there will also be more dates & times added). until then.. be easy, and stay away from pizza. jeah!


Blogger Baker Baker 1-9 said...

Chicago dont get no love?

7:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

diggin the blog son, straight piff.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous hansel said...

that voicemail has got to be niggatastic.

4:26 PM  

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