Thursday, September 28, 2006

japanese spike lees, pakastani ninja turtles, and black pirates

last night, i'm positive i fell asleep on the couch. but somehow, today, i woke up on the floor. some of the best things happen to those who sleep. well... at least for me it does. take the tuesday for instance. i was sleeping at the normal hour of 1pm, and my friend Takeo calls. Takeo eng'wish isnt so goud, so lemme somewhat translate what he said:

"hel'wro..? Cryde...?"

"yeah- who the fukk is this.."

"hel'wro... Cryde?! its Krah'keoooo! Heeeyy!! I wraunted to know if you uh... bee'say today, and want to crumb wif' me and my friend to uh.. how do you say(typing into his translater.. trust me, i can hear him) go skate for Yapanese Wrautch commercial.. eh, eh, how do you say? G-Shock.."

"fukk Takeo, what time is it..."

"its wr'ike- wr'one fur'ty!! C'mon man. EEt'll be faun. you know... go skaaaate, maybe- you know.. cheee'il downtown. you get paid t..."

"thats weird. im awake now. where are you..?"

"im wr'ike.. maybe a brock away from you.. you ready? i pick you up... i got zea'weed too man! yeeeaaah Cryde!"

"dude.. just roll through because i honestly cant understand what the fukk you're saying, and furthermore- its 1pm."

so him and the Yapanese Spike Wree roll ph'rough

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Yapanese Spike Wree

we go grab my man Ehr'dic(as Takeo would say..), somehow end up here..

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artwork by Cartoon(that says LA by the way..)

and no less than 20 minutes and a few fratgwound kricks later, im on my way back home plus a hundred bucks richer. jeah! moral to this story- stay asleep. it worked for that autistic kid in St.Elsewhere for years, and the sad part is- none of yall wouldve known thats what the entire show was about if i didnt just mention that...

dont feel so dumb though. heres yet another good reason not to. roll the tape boys..

"uhh... uhh... WHY are they listening to "Cookies" by Ciara, gangsta grilling AND doing karate in the house...?", some of you may be asking yourself at this point. what im trying to figure out is- WHAT kinda video camera doesn't come with a fukkin tripod?! oh yeah- those video cameras from last century thats shaped like a fukkin Dodge caravan! smh.. true story- these dudes look like some broke ass Pakastani Ninja Turtles. wrap it up

wanna see the new minority report promo? here ya go..

now quit being lazy, sign up and leave a comment.. it doesnt take that long. i promise. its takes half the time of the following things: stalking your exes myspace, stalking your friends myspace for comments about you, thinking about the last time something exciting happened to you then elaborating on it, and lastly, stalking myspace like a low-life loser.

speaking of losers. were there ever any black pirates. hol on. lemme check google, because google knows ehhhhvrything-

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whut the...?

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and i thought national geographic was informative.. smh. this is why im glad i dont have kids, and if i did, id be glad if they didnt go to public schooling. now call me crazy, but these n!ggas dont look like no pirates! the white dude in the pirate suit- now THATS a pirate. he looks "nautical"... but the black dude.. im sorry, but that ain't no damn pirate! if thats a "pirate", theres alot of these muthafukkers living off Sunset, in Venice Beach and downtown LA.. actually, they damn sho'll do smell like pirates! like how i snuck that ebonic in there? im ghost.. u bast'ids!


Blogger reetercat said...

Congrats on your blog. And thanks for a side of giggle with my breakfast.

12:08 PM  
Blogger The 33King Network said...

I got soda in my nose now...

Pakistani Ninja Turtles 4Life

1:27 PM  
Blogger dL said...

Pakistani looking, German speaking ... I never knew I could be embarrassed and grinning at the same time.

1:16 PM  
Blogger LarryLush said...

I think I remember seeing some show on the History Channel about pirates and how they were a democratic society where everyone, no matter what race, sex or music taste, shared equally in the spoils of their plunders. This is another example of how the ways of the seafaring swahbuckler can be applied to improve our own time and society. We can do without the sash wearing, though, like all those kids in the non-bowl skate mag articles wear.

7:32 PM  

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